[ The inheritance of loss ]
BANG!! I lost 25 kilograms in nine months, and I am proud of it. Finally, I have come close to my goal and I can write about my journey of losing my most precious possession, my weight. The weight that I have very happily gained, eating pizzas and bowl full of rice with endless jars of pickles, café lattes, trying out pasta recipes, drowning me in a tub of ice-cream and complaining of looking like a lopsided dead pig as my sister puts it. Twelve years back, I was just this weight I am today. In past twelve years I have gained and lost and again gained back then last August I turned into an elephant. Surprisingly I wasn’t disturbed; I was extremely comfortable in my own skin (talk about over confidence).
I am a “perpetual dieter” (if this is at all a term). But my past diets never worked, as I never had a concept. The idea of losing weight wasn’t very clear. I just wanted to lose weight by any possible means. I read the internet, went into fad diets, chocked to death, well, almost. I took breaks, and repeated the same story. I guess I turned into my office joke; my colleagues had a ball of a time, teasing me. I ate less, counted calories, lived on esmoprazoles, paracitamol, as acid reflux and migraines were my only true companions. To top it all, my pressure used to fall every time I went hard on myself.
One fine sunny morning, as I entered the office in a very good mood, I did my usual, weighed myself in the office weighing machine, and I was shocked, embarrassed and remorse. The weight it showed was so unhealthy, that I got scared. My body was sending me hints, giving me signals on a regular basis, but I managed to ignore and slide away very cleverly. I befriended the corner medicine shop guy and tipped him well, so that he comes and check my pressure. My gynecologist asked me not to visit as I am beyond any cure.
Then on my best friend’s birthday, a true friend, loathed me. He just lost some 20 kilograms and was all full of himself. Told me stories of his success and how girls are in love with him ever more now. I was tempted I promise, no, not in him, the diet plan I mean, but I wasn’t very convinced. He explained the process the concept and I was still, not impressed. He told me something called, Keto that I have been reading all over the internet. Few days later a colleague got ill, saw a doctor in Delhi and came back home with a keto based diet prescription, was the only time, I was little skeptical, I thought, why not.
So, I called my friend, he had a big laugh but nevertheless, he coached me, answered my call in the middle of the night, listened me venting, screamed at me and supported me, like no one ever did. I am grateful to him for showing me the way. He taught me the most important thing of all, the concept of mindful eating. And that eventually helps you to have a mindful living, (still a concept I need to master) but I can say I am getting there.
I have been waiting eagerly for the past 9 months, so write this piece of blog. This is a lifelong commitment and I can say, I am happily married to it. Now, with the big smile on my face, I also have tears of joy at the corner of my eyes, I am here. I know I have been a good girl, worked hard, sincere and above all, I learned to love myself. The journey is similar to giving birth to my son, only this time, I gave birth to a new me. However apart from the fat in my body and spots on my face (as I am off any kind of gluten, sugar and dairy), nothing much changed deep inside, I am still as erratic as I was 24 years back when I was sixteen, something never change but I can deal with that.
To be continued……